Twenty One

'Please George. Don't start'.
It's only drizzling Pips.
'It's pouring. I don't want to arrive at work soaked. We are getting on the bus'.
But I don't mind getting wet.
'Come on'.
The bendy buses make me sick Philippa. And you have no principles. You said you didn't like them either. You called them suburban if I rememb/
'OK that's it. Do we have to go through this every time?'
Don't pick me up Philippa do not pick me up!
'I know you don't like being picked up but it's too bad. We're holding up the queue and everyone is looking at us. They're all thinking what a badly behaved dog you are'.
How do you know what they're thinking?
'You're really demoralising George. We've got the Management Committee Meeting next week in which I am supposed to be showing you off as a wonderfully obedient dog who will be absolutely no trouble to anyone when in fact nothing could be further from the truth'.
Oh kiss my arse Philippa…
‘I haven't made any progress with you in five months. We still have this rigmarole every time we go near a bus, I don't dare let you off the lead because you run away/’
I WAS NOT RUNNING AWAY, I WAS RUNNING IN CIRCLES!
‘Ssssh Ssssh George! I'm sorry, he doesn't like buses. He'll calm down in a minute'.
And I would prefer it if you didn't speak for my intentions Pips, actually, as you misinterpret them every time.
‘I don't know what to do with you. I really don't'.
Well that's not my problem.
'OK I'm just putting you down again a second. I can't find my Oyster card now'.
And that's another thing. I've noticed that you are the only person who swipes their Oyster card on these buses. You shouldn't bother Pips. No-one else does. Just a tip to save you some money. Thank you George. You're welcome.