Because he's in and out and in and out Pips! Firstly he was shut in the bedroom to keep him out of the way and now he's been shut out of the bedroom to keep him out of the way! Shut out of the bedroom in his own house!
'George don't bite my scarf. You'll rip it'.
How would you like it? How would you like it Pips? And all because Terry's new boyfriend gets a runny nose when Freddie's around. I'M NOT HAVING IT, I'M NOT HAVING IT!
'George no not the cushion either'.
It's 'easy come easy go' with you people. It's all 'man's best friend' one minute and the next you've met some idiot to go out with and we might as well not exist.
'George don't shake it'.
You don't let Gadaffi get away with mistreating his people do you? Oh no! You pull out all the stops with UN Resolutions/
'George no! You're tearing it!'
But it's fine for Freddie to be mistreated by Terry, his own owner! Oh yes, THAT'S JUST FINE!
'George drop the cushion'.
It's not Freddie's fault if the tosser is allergic to dogs/
'No George you're tearing it!'
And if he ends up in Battersea because of it then I hold you responsible, yes I do. For sitting back and letting it happen and doing NOTHING TO STOP IT! NOTHING!
'George the feathers are coming out.. STOP IT!'
YOU TELL TERRY TO STOP IT! You tell Terry to stop what he's doing! Why don't you tell him to dump the tosspost altogether? But no, you don't. IT'S AN OUTRAGE, IT'S AN OUTRAGE!
'GEORGE STOP THIS NONSENSE!'
You people are all the same - spineless, wet individuals who can't say no/
'RIGHT THIS MINUTE GEORGE! I MEAN IT!'
And I'll tell you something else. 'Dog' is 'God' spelt backwards in case you hadn't noticed, which means we are closer to Him than you will ever be/
'I've just realised something'.
so He is on our side, whoever He is/
'I've just realised that I'm never going to make any progress with you. Life is always going to be like this'.
Here we go. Don't start blaming me Pips.
'Because you're you and I'm me and that's just the way it is. Because you're a dog and that's it'.
Yes I am and I am proud to be one and/
'George DROP THE CUSHION! There are feathers everywhere. Please'.
No.
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