Hundred and Forty Four

'So Philippa, are you back at work?'
'Yes but I decided this week that I should really leave. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of dealing with my boss's string of endless girlfriends who he takes off on exotic tropical holidays and then having to deal with his moods when the relationships don't work out. I'm sure he just sees me as a sad individual who only has her dog for company and I see myself like that too now. I mean I love George but it's not the same thing'.
'No, of course not'.
'I know it probably sounds trivial but organising his Valentine's Day every year, as I always do - booking a restaurant, ordering flowers and all of that just rubs salt in the wound and I end up feeling shit about myself. Really second rate because no-one is doing that for me. And he and George don't get on. I mean I'm grateful to him for allowing me to bring a dog into work because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to get George in the first place but he's always mean about him and George doesn't behave so... but I can't leave. I'm struggling a bit at the moment financially what with no salary increase and the price of everything going up and it'll be really difficult for me to get another job with George in tow. So I'm basically stuck'.
Pips? I am going to show Ms Fields my great money-saving idea which you're not allowed to know about. Pips? Pips!
'What George?'
I am going to show Ms Fields my great money-saving idea. Follow me Ms Fields.
'Look at them go Philippa. At least George and Ruthie seem to get on just fine'.


'What are you doing George?'
The thing is Ms Fields, Pips is on a pay freeze and so we are on a money-saving drive but luckily I am full of money-saving ideas.
'But/?'
I know what you are thinking Ms Fields. You are thinking 'How can digging a hole be a money-saving idea?'
'Exactly George'.
You may well wonder but all will be revealed. Wait... wait... I'm getting there... I'm almost there. You see what a terrific digger I am?
'I can see George'.
It has always been a talent of mine amongst many oth/ Look! LOOK! There we are!
'What?'
Look! There!
'A bulb'.
See? And now I'm going to dig it up because Pips was saying she can't afford to buy any plants for her windowboxes this year and/
'But George someone has planted it here'.
Only Islington Council and Pips pays a fortune in Council Tax, she told me, and what for?
'But she may not want you digging it up'.
She won't mind. It's Terry who doesn't like it but he lacks a sense of humour when it comes to plants. Watch me dig it out Ms Fields.


'I think I'm bored Elliot. I think I'm a bit bored of being me. My life has got into a routine and I'm bored of the routine. And so I'm bored of me'.
'It happens'.
'Does it?'
'Of course'.
'You don't think I'm being spoilt?'
'We all get bored Philippa, really. It's good. It means you have to try something new. What else might you like to do?'
Pips? Pips? Look! I've got a couple of bulbs for your windowbo/ oops! Is that Terry coming? Terry is coming Ms Fields. Quick, turn around and preten/
'Terry! Hi. Happy New Year'.
'Happy New Year. Hey what has George got there?'
Run Ms Fields run!
'George?'
'Has he been digging up bulbs?'
'Has he?'
'GEORGE! COME HERE'.
Let's hide in the bushes Ruthie.
'You just called me Ruthie, George'.
'George I'm coming to get you!'
Uh oh. Terry's coming. I'm going to get a smacked bottom. It's typical it really is. Pips tells me how tight money is so I come up with a money-saving idea for planting out her windowboxes and end up with a smack. No wonder the world is in crisis Ms Fields, no wonder, when it's in the hands of these idiots.