Hundred and Thirty Seven

'OK so you'll come and pick us up again in two hours?'
'I'll be here'.
'Great, thanks. Freds come here'.
'All right Ruthie my darling, let's have tea'.
'Er Terry? You go on in with Elliot. I just want a quick word with George'.
'Sure but don't be long or we'll have eaten all the cake'.
'We won't. OK let's just wait for them to go inside....... Right George. Now if you don't start behaving this minute I'm taking you home. I know it's exciting coming into town and you like travelling in cabs and if you want to jump all over me that is one thing but I said 'no' to the back shelf because I knew there'd be an accident so there is absolutely no excuse for landing on Elliot's head. Do you hear me?'
That man over there is looking at you and shaking his head/
'And if you were trying to impress Ruthie with your stunts I should think she's lost interest by now'.
I wasn't.


'Happy Birthday Elliot'.
'Yes Happy Birthday to you!'
'Happy Birthday to me. Now let's have some more cake'.
'It's delicious....'.
'So Philippa, apart from George, who we all know and love, is there anyone else special in your life?'
'No. I've given up on men. So has Terry haven't we Terry?'
'Yes we've given up. They're all bastards'.
'Oh no, you mustn't give up. One must never give up on love'.
'We're onto dogs now as you can tell'.
'Yes and judging by George's behaviour it's probably just as well I don't have a man in my life as he'd no doubt be giving me the runaround as well'.
'You've been more successful with George than I was with Will'.
'Well that's true'.
'Who's Will?'
'Terry's ex-boyfriend'.
'He ran off with someone he'd known all of about two minutes'.
'Oh dear. That's disappointing'.
'I wish I was your age Elliot. Your generation are the last gentlemen'.
'I don't know about that. But what I do know is that I owe all of who I am today to my beloved wife who insisted on bringing out the best in me. That's what you must search for'.
'But I never meet anyone!'
'What happens if the person you meet brings out the bitch in you?'
'Oh Terry!'
'In that case I think one has to let them go on their way really'.
'I think Freddie's been better for me than any of my boyfriends'.
'I'm not sure George entirely brings out the best in me. Well no he doesn't. I mean that's obvious. Especially as I spend most of my time telling him off. So he brings out the stress in me actually, if you know what I mean'.


You're lucky you don't have to deal with women Freddie. They're very difficult, they really are.
'We're not difficult if we're listened to but you don't listen do you George?'
'Ruthie may have a point there George'.
Since when did you become a feminist Freddie?
'Listening to a woman has nothing to do with being a feminist George'.
'No it has to do with respect doen't it Ruthie?'
Yes all right Freddie/
'Perhaps you don't do what Philippa asks you to do because she's a woman George. Have you thought of that?'
No I don't do what she tells me to do, Ms Fields, because she's a person.
'Well that's fair enough when you put it like that'.
Yes I know Freddie thank you, because who do people think they are?
'Just people probably George'.
But they don't listen to us do they Ms Fields? They don't listen to us! And I have had enough of being told what I can or cannot do I really have. It dampens my enjoyment of life when they constantly interfere/
'Hey! How are the dogs doing down under the table?'
You see? Here we go.
'Hi you lot. How are you getting on with your cakes? What are you doing down there George?'
Talking about you Pips and how difficult it is to live with you, since you ask.
'I like living with Elliot'.
'Terry's OK too. Most of the time'.
'Oh George look at you! You've got mille feuille all over your face!'
No no get off! GET OFF ME!


'Thank you Elliot. I had a wonderful time. Thank you so much for inviting us'.
'And thank you for the little book Philippa, that is very sweet of you. You shouldn't have'.
'And I'm really sorry once again for George's terrible behviour. It's embarrassing it really is'.
'Oh no. He's a delight. I'll see you in the gardens next week I hope'.
'Yes see you. Bye....... You are a very badly-behaved little dog George. I was ashamed of you this afternoon'.
Elliot said I am a delight/
'No you're not walking. Come here'.
Er Pips? You're squeezing me quite tightly actually...