Hundred and Thirty

'Whoever's heard of anyone delaying their wedding George. He means they've cancelled it. I might have known. Every time Simon goes on holiday with a girlfriend it's the beginning of the end of the relationship'.
She realised she was about to marry a tosser, didn't she Pips?
'So when he was being mean about you, as usual, and said you were walking as though you'd just got off a horse/'
He said that?
'I took great delight in telling him that you have a girlfriend now'.
Girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend.
'I said 'she's a Cairn terrier called Ruthie Fields'/
Ms Fields? She's not my girlfriend!
'and that you play together in the gardens'.
But I haven't played with her Pips. What are you talking about?
'He doesn't need to know that you got your injury showing off to her'.
FIRSTLY RUTHIE FIELDS IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!
'I know George. She's lovely/'
AND SECONDLY I WAS NOT SHOWING OFF! I was showing her how fast I can run and fetch/
'Don't snap at me like that'.
'and how high I can jump. That is different'.
'What? What's the matter?'
It doesn't mean SHE IS MY GIRLFRIEND!
'Sssh! And don't just stand there George or we'll miss Elliot and Ruthie. Don't be difficult'.
I'm not being difficult Pips. SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!
'Do you want me to carry you?'
I don't believe this.
'Do you?'
It's unbelievable it really is.
'OK I'm carrying you'.
And you know what the worst part of it is - OW! CAREFUL! CAREFUL!
'Sssh I know, your ribs still hurt'.
The worst part of it is that you can get me so wrong. It shows you have no understanding of me at all. None at all when you have not the slightest idea of MY TYPE OF GIRL!
'You do make a fuss about everything George'.
And how long have I been living with you now?
'Why do you have to make an issue out of a simple thing like a walk to the gardens?'
It's a disappointment to me it really is.
'Sometimes I wonder why I got you George when you make my life so bloody complicated'.
Up yours Pips.