Hundred and Twenty Nine

Freddie says it was - ow! - a joke but I don't wear - ow!- shoes so it's not - eeh! ow! - funny. Is it Pips?
'George you're making some extraordinary noises'.
Because I've told you a hundred times it hurts to walk Pips. You have no - ow! eeh! - idea. Not that you care be-ow!ooh!eeh!-cause all you're worried about is how much a trip - ow! - to the vet costs.
'Simon's back from holiday today George/'
Why can't we catch the bus again?
'which means he'll probably be in a foul mood/'
Well at least he's had a holiday so we're not going to fee- eeh!-eel - ow! - sorry for him are we Pips?
'So don't rise to him OK? Just ignore him if he starts being unreasonable. Pretend you didn't hear him'.
I do that anyway Pi - OW!
'It's OK George. We'll catch the bus into work'.


'Hi Simon. Welcome back. How were the Seychelles?'
'Fine fine. Um, Philippa can I have a word with you in my office?'
'Of course. What, now?'
'It'll only take a second. You can leave the sickbag outside'.
That's how I prefer it Simon. To see you but not hear your/
'And close the door behind you'.


'Take a seat Philippa'.
'Thanks'.
'How're things?'
'Fine. I think everything's under control...'
'Good. Listen. Steph and I are delaying the wedding'.
'Oh!'
'Just.. family..stuff...'
'Right'.
'So er, as far as my diary is concerned you can schedule stuff all the way through until Christmas now'.
'OK'.
'That's all'.
'Right. Well/'
'I'd be grateful if you kept this to yourself for the time-being. I mean obviously I'll be telling Jason but/ what's wrong with the sickbag?'
'What do you mean?'
'He's walking very .... he's got a strange gait'.
'Really?'
'Yes look at him'.
'I don't think/'
'Oh come on Philippa. He looks like he's just got off a horse. What's all that about?'
'I hadn't noticed'.
'Either that or...'
'What are you doing?'
'I'm getting him in here. Hey sickbag!'
'He can't hear you'.
'He will now. HEY! SICKBAG! WHAT'S WITH THE FUNNY WALK? GOT A FULL BLADDER?'
'Don't../'
'I think he needs to go out Philippa'.
'No he doesn't'.
'How do you know?'