Hundred and Fourteen

Firstly Pips I still can't believe you didn't tell me there was an Animals Count Party which I think is disgraceful considering I would have voted for them if I had been allowed to vote but I can't because animals don't count. Secondly, if we did count we wouldn't be in this pickle because the result would have been quite different and included some Animals Count MP's for a start which a) would help me to feel represented in this country because if you think you're cross at the small number of seats that the lovely Miriam's Liberal Democrats have won then how do you think I feel without a single Animals Count MP in the House of Commons? And you call this a democracy. And b) the Liberal Democrats could now be negotiating with Animals Count to form a coalition to support electoral reform which we would be in favour of unlike the bunch of tossers they're having to negotiate with now.
'George can you move away from the screen so I can see what's happening with this election stuff?'
So, fourthly, do you want to know what I think about David Cameron trying to make a deal with Miriam's Liberal Democrats?
'George get your backside out of the picture'.
Watch this. Hey David! David!
'George move your fat bottom out of it!'
KISS MY ARSE!
'George no! What did I just say?'
And Gordon is whistling in the wind if he thinks that any of us will be kissing his arse after thirteen years of doing sweet F. A. to make any of us count. Isn't that right Pips?
'Oh for God's sake. I can't watch telly when you're in this sort of mood. Let's go for a walk. These negotiations don't seem to getting anywhere anyway'.
Well what did you expect?
'I really don't want to have to deal with Simon feeling sorry for himself for yet another day/'
Don't listen to him Pips.
'and all his moaning about how this country's going to the dogs because Cameron didn't win a majority'.
What? He said the country was going to the dogs?
'He's such a bad loser'.
He said this country is GOING TO THE DOGS?! That is an outrage Pips IT IS AN OUTRAGE! Firstly, dogs have nothing to do with it so, secondly, I object to that expression, YES I DO, which I take as a personal slur on my good character. HOW DARE HE/
'George ssshh! You're being such a pain this afternoon. I'm not in the mood. Now where's your lead?'