Twenty Six

‘George!’
There you are Philippa. Could you pop next door and get me a cappuccino?
‘Get out of Simon’s chair’.
And then if you could get me what’s-his-name on the phone/
‘Now!’
All right Pips keep your hair on.
‘You know you’re not supposed to be in Simon’s office’.
Yes I do.
‘Why do you never do what you’re told?’
You never tell me what to do Pips. As a matter of fact you only ever tell me what not to do which/
‘Come out and sit in your basket and be a good boy’.
is very boring Pips, if I can just finish.
‘Simon might be right about taking you to see Victoria Stilwell’.
I’m not scared of Vicky.
‘Oh not the phone again……Good afternoon, Simon Lewis’s office….Oh hi Simon. Has your meeting finished? Yes, no everything’s fine here…’
I was just sitting in your chair Simon/
‘Nothing to report…no’.
pretending to be you
‘Lisa called.
pretending to be busy.
‘She said she would try you on your mobile’.
because I’ve never seen you do anything.
‘Well that’s what she said’.
What do you actually do?
‘No. No he’s not. He’s in his basket…………………what? St George’s day? When…? Oh! Yes of course. No, no……I mean no. What did we do? We er… oh yes, we went for a long walk and…. no I didn’t forget it. I wouldn’t forget that! That would be….well, yes it would…. OK, so you’ll be back in the office tomorrow. I’ll see you then. Yes, bye…… Oh my God George I forgot St George’s day! How could I do that? I can’t believe I missed it’.
I did tell you but you didn’t listen.
‘We should have had a little celebration. I’m so sorry George. George?
Where are/ George get out of the filing cabinet! What are you doing in there?’
I don’t like the basket anymore. I thought it might be more comfortable in here and besides, whenever you want me to be invisible, which is most of the time, you can simply shut the drawer.
‘Oh George I’m not doing very well with you am I? I can’t discipline you, I forget important dates like St George’s day which we should have celebrated even if it’s not actually your birthday/’
It is my birthday actually Pips.
‘I’m such a terrible parent’.
Why don’t you try closing the drawer and watch me vanish?
‘What am I going to do with myself?’
Just close the drawer.
‘Get out of there George. Please’.
No.
‘I’ll close the drawer if you don’t get out’.
Yes go on!
‘I will’.
Go on Pips! That would be thrilling!
‘OK. By then George’.
Bye Pi/

‘Excuse me?’
‘Oh! Hello’.
‘Is Simon Lewis around?’
‘No he’s out of the office at meetings all day today. Who are…? I mean how…?’
‘Sorry, I’m John Palmer. The receptionist sent me up. I’m an old client of Simon’s. I was just passing so…… What’s that noise?’
‘Noise? Oh that. It’s…. it’s my dog. He’s in the filing cabinet’.
‘Right’.
‘Yes. He likes to hide in it. Look….’
BOO!


‘I can’t believe I did that George. What was I thinking? I bet he’s going to tell Simon about it. When people ask for your name you know you’re in trouble. But then again what would I do if I went into an office and a PA had her dog shut away in a filing cabinet? Apart from the fact that it is weird and unprofessional and I will probably be fired from my job for messing around, I can see myself being prosecuted by the RSPCA for cruelty to animals and you’ll be taken away from me and back to Battersea’.
But you were the most fun you’ve ever been Pips. You were terrific! I enjoyed my time in the drawer immensely. There is just one thing. I couldn’t help but notice that you had misfiled a couple of documents.