Twenty Seven

What are you looking at me like that for?
‘Like what?’
Like that. I am just as entitled to walk on this pavement as you are.
‘I never said you weren’t sunshine’.
Then why did you look at me like that?
‘George come on. Leave the dog alone’.
No Pips he was giving me a funny look.
‘Keep your tail on. Get out of our basket the wrong side this morning did we?’
No. I have a bookshelf.
‘Oh. A bookshelf. Very posh’.
So I can’t get out the wrong side of it actually.
‘Come on George’.
‘We’re also so posh we don’t go off lead I notice’.
Yes I do. Just not today.
‘No you don’t. Every time I’ve seen you you’re being walked around like a baby’.
I am not a baby. I go to work every day.
‘Is that supposed to make me jealous?’
To a smart office in Bloomsbury. I am a part of the working culture of this country.
‘Still not jealous’.
I even helped with the filing the other day.
‘Lucky you’.
At least I am doing something productive with my life
‘You call filing productive?’
unlike you, sitting here/
‘Look, you uptight little midget, mind your own bloody business/’.
But this is NOT YOUR PAVEMENT!
‘It’s not yours either’.
‘George please…….I’m really sorry….’
Do not apologise for me Pips do not apologise for me!
‘Now you’re humiliating your owner. Is that what you want?’.
No I’m not.
‘Yes you are. She’s having to apologise for you because she’s embarrassed by your self-important attitude you jumped up little runt’.
She is not embarrassed by me. She loves m/
‘That’s enough George. Leave the dog alone’.
It is not enough Pips and…no, do not pick me up I will come when I am ready DO NOT PICK ME UP!


‘Next time you decide to pick an argument with another dog/’
He started it Pips. He gave me a funny look.
‘could you not choose a Rottweiler/’
He is not a Rottweiler. He is a mongrel that looks like a Rottweiler.
‘who is not on a lead and has an owner who looks as though he’s high on something or other because I, personally, would like to live to see another day’.
Well I think you should identify the different canine breeds correctly Pips, if I might say so, before you start criticising my behaviour.


Pips?……………… Pips?…………….. PIPS!
‘What is it now George?’
I don’t embarrass you do I?