Sixty Eight

‘Yes I’d like a regular mocha cappucino and…. what do you want honey?’
‘I’ll have a grande de-caff latte’.
‘And one grande/’
OW OW OW OW OW OW OW! GET OFF MY PAW GET OFF MY PAW!
‘What’s the matter George?’
‘Hank you’re treading on the little dog’.
‘Oh! I’m sorry’.
‘Poor little thing’.
‘George are you OK?’
No I am not Pips. My paw is crushed.
‘Hey I’m sorry buddy. I didn’t see you down there’.
DON’T BUDDY ME! DIDN’T YOU FEEL ME UNDER YOUR GREAT HEAVY TIMBERLAND BOOT?
‘I’m so sorry. We didn’t see the little guy down there’.
‘It’s OK…...’
IT IS NOT OK PIPS/
‘Ssssh now George’.
BUT MY PAW HURTS!
‘What happened?’
‘My husband stepped on the little dog. That’s all’.
THAT’S ALL? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE STOOD ON BY AN ELEPHANT?
‘George ssssh that’s enough now. What a racquet you’re making’.
‘He’s so cute….’
‘Is he OK?’
‘Yes he’s fine’.
I AM NOT FINE PIPS I AM NOT FINE!
‘Hey little fella it was an accident’.
WELL YOU SHOULD WATCH WHERE YOU STAND YOU CLUMSY TEN TON AMERICAN!
‘I’ll tell you what. You might like to hold him next time you’re in a line with lots of people/’
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! I DO NOT WANT TO BE HELD I DO NOT WANT TO BE HELD I DO NOT/
‘OK George I’m taking you outside. It’s all right. I’m just taking him outside…….’


‘OK George let’s have a look at your paw’.
People should look where they’re going and be less careless shouldn’t they Pips? Especially Americans.
‘Let me rub it better’.
Be careful, be careful Pips. It is very sore.
‘I can’t believe that lady telling me to hold you in future. As though by being on the floor you were somehow asking to be stepped on by her husband’.
Like we want her advice.
‘Honestly George. Some people!’
She’ll be saying Iraq asked to be invaded next won’t she Pips?
‘That wasn’t a very good start to our Sunday. Let’s go to a different café. Now can you walk or do you want me to carry you? If I carry you I don’t want you to make a fuss’.
I think perhaps I would like to be carried. Just this once, as my paw is very poorly.