Ninety Five

‘Oh George there’s an article in the December Vogue here about Jack Russells’.
I am still not talking to you Pips.
‘Apparently you are the most fashionable breed at the moment’.
‘My New Year’s Resolutions by George...'
‘And the dog of choice amongst A list celebrities’.
No in fact I think this year George is going to make only one resolution.
‘Heidi Klum has one’.
‘My One New Year’s Resolution by George'...
‘George?’
I, George, hereby resolve not to travel on Public Transport at all this year.
‘Are you listening to me?’
The number 38 bus will be history this year for George.
‘It says ‘this feisty little terrier is small enough to tuck under your arm’/’
Yes it will. As will all tubes and trains.
‘which is why it is so popular’.
But I will make an exception for planes as I would very much like to go abroad again this year I really would.
‘Tuck under your arm. Yes right. Every time I pick you up you throw a fit. This is what irritates me about these articles. They’re such a load of bollocks’.
I would prefer it if you didn’t use language like that actually Pips if you don’t mind.
‘They’ll write any old rubbish to sell something as a fashion accessory’.
Perhaps we could go back to Barcelona. Conchita was such a lovely girl.
‘Hey you know what I was thinking George? That we should go to Paris for a weekend’.
Paris?!
‘Just you and me. What do you think?’
That would be terrific Pips! I would be thrilled.
‘Now that the Eurostar comes into St Pancras it’s too easy. It’s just a walk down the road’.
Eurostar?
‘We could book ourselves into a cheap hotel and hop on the train one Friday evening after work’.
I don’t believe this.
‘and go for walks in the Tuilleries/
I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS!
‘and take a stroll down by the Seine/.....’
Don’t do this to me Pips. DO NOT DO THIS TO ME!
‘Sssh now George. What’s the matter?’
The matter, Pips, is that the best idea you have come up with in absolutely ages means that I will have to break my one and only New Year’s Resolution just after I have made it. That is just the limit. It really is.
‘George? Where are you going?’
To my bookcase.