Hundred and Forty Six

'George? Is that you?'
Yes Margaret it's me.
'Oh no. Not again. I don't care what you've been up to but it is simply not on for you to live in the hall'.
She's meditating Margaret/
'And we simply cannot have you barrelling up and down the stairs after that wretched ball. I'm having a word with Philippa'.
Well as I said, she's meditating so she won't want to be distur/ NO NO! DON'T ANSWER IT PIPS! MARGARET IS OUT HERE!
'Oh for goodness sake do be quiet'.
'DON'T ANSWER THE DOOR PIPS, DON'T ANSWER IT DON'T ANS/
'Oh! Hi Margaret'.
That was a mistake Pips but don't listen to me. No.
'How are you?'
'I'm fine thank you Philippa but this is the fourth time in a week that I have run into George on the stairs and I thought that we had established quite some time ago that he is not to frequent the hall'.
'It's only for fifteen minutes. I'm trying to learn how to meditate'.
'Oh! Is that what you're doing?'
I told you that's what she is doing Margaret. Why don't you listen?
'Well, what you do is your business but he is wrecking the carpet'.
No I'm not.
'Why? What's he doing?'
I'm not doing anything.
'He's running up and down the stairs after that irritating little ball with the bell/'
It is my favourite ball Margaret. IT IS MY FAVOURITE BALL!
'I don't see how that is wrecking the carpet'.
'Well because he is chasing it and the carpet will be shredded in no time. And the ball is quite disgusting being slobbered all over. If he cannot be trusted to behave in your own flat whilst you meditate for fifteen minutes or whatever it is you're doing, then I don't see why the rest of us in the house should have to put up with him'.
'You don't have to put up with him! You just pass him on the stairs occasionally that's all!'
'But the gentleman who has recently moved into the top floor is allergic to dogs'.
'Who's that? I didn't know someone new had moved in'.
'Well I can assure you Philippa that he has met George - who tripped him up on the stairs'.
I tripped him up? HE TRIPPED ME UP MORE LIKE!
'Sssh George'.
He tripped me up because he didn't see me because he'd BEEN DRINKING/
'Well I'm sorry if George tripped him over but/'
I DIDN'T TRIP HIM OVER! I DIDN'T TRIP HIM OVER! HE TRIPPED OVER ME/
'Oh I can't bear this constant barking. Will you stop yapping you horrible little dog!'
Did you hear that Pips? She called me a horrible little/
'I give up on the pair of you. Ever since this dog arrived it has been nothing but trouble. Moulting on the stairs, unsavoury odours in the common areas/'
I BEG YOUR PARDON?!
'George come inside'.
I'm coming.
'I'm sorry you feel that way Margaret but/'
GET A LIFE MADGE! AND I'LL GIVE YOU UNSAVOURY ODOURS...
'Oooh good gracious. Was...?'
Take that.
'Oh no George! Get out. No don't. Come in but go away'.
'I don't know how you can live with a dog in a flat Philippa'.
'Well I do and we manage'.
'It's a health hazard/'
'Sorry Margaret but I'm going back to my meditating now if you don't mind. Bye'.
'But/'
'Bye. Right George, into your bookcase. That was disgusting. You do yourself no favours you know that?'
Yes well there are more where that came from. And from now on I shall be saving them for the hall.