Hundred and Thirty Five

'Look at the halloween lanterns all lit up in the windows over there George'.
They're pretty aren't they Pips?
'They're really glowing'.
Can we go through the gardens? The gate is still open, see?
'I can see some little ghosts and witches in front of the church'.
Those are the same children that tricked and treated us earlier Pips. They're on their second round of the street. Can you believe it?


'George?'
I'm behind the tree, doing my business Pips if you don't mind.
'George?'
You won't need to pick it up since it's dark and no-one will see it.
'Where are you?'
Oh look, there's a white plastic bag.
'Are you hiding from me?'
Perhaps I can get into it and scare Pips. That's a good idea George. You're welcome. If I can just open it...
'Come on. It's starting to spit with rain. George?'
There we are...
'I knew I shouldn't have let you off the lead'.
WOOOOH... WOOOOOH!
'What/..?'
WOOOOH!
'Oh shit George! You scared me for a second there'.
WOOOOOH!
'What are you doing?'
I am the ghost of George and I come out but once a year/
'George get out of the bag'.
WOOOOH......
'George no come here. We need to get you out of the bag'.
You know me Pips. I like to have a laugh.
'George get out of that bag'.
Because I am a fun-loving/
'GEORGE GET OUT OF THE BAG NOW!'


You know what your problem is Pips? You have no sense of humour. None at all. You didn't tell off any of the children who were trick or treating for wearing the sheets off their parents beds did you? I could have taken the sheet off your bed too but I didn't. I improvised because that's the sort of dog I am. I was behind the tree doing my business when I happened to notice the bag lying there and I had a moment of inspiration. Which is what jokes are all about Pips. They're a spontaneous expression/
'People shouldn't leave plastic bags lying around. It makes me really angry'.
Blame people then Pips. Don't blame me.
'They're dangerous. You could have suffocated in it'.
Well then I would have been the real ghost of George. Which would have been terrific because perhaps I would have floated. Which would have been even more impressive.