Hundred and Three

It's about restructuring Nadine. Simon doesn't understand what it means but he likes to use long words because he thinks it makes him sound professional. By the way it is true that I ran off on Hampstead Heath last weekend but what Pips didn't tell you is that it was because I saw a lovely girl and Pips would have done the same if she had seen someone she liked. And OK, so the lovely girl turned out to be a lovely boy but how was I to know from a distance? We can all make mistakes. Pips is very judgemental she really is. Not like you Nadine. By the way I like your new shoes, they are very glamorous. Pips doesn't like glam/ oh hello Pips.
'Here you are George'.
Here I am Pips.
'Come here. I don't want you wandering around while Simon is speaking'.
I'm not wandering Pips, I am talking to Nadine. No don't pick me up DON'T PICK ME UP PIPS!
'Sssh sssh'.
'OK if everyone's here.. is Judith...? Yes OK... then I think we'll get started'.
We'll finish our conversation later Nadine/
'Can everyone listen up!'
after our fuhrer has finished speaking.
'As you all know, the current economic situation is affecting everyone and in terms of this company it has meant less orders coming in and so, in short, less business. As a result we are going to be doing some restructuring of the company/'
You see Nadine? Restructuring is his favourite word.
'which will necessitate some redundancies'.
'Oh shit'.
'Yes Philippa?'
'Nothing Simon, I was just.... nothing'.
Don't worry Pips. He can't get rid of you. How would he manage? This place wouldn't function without him. I mean you. Wouldn't function without you Pips.
'But we will be acting in accordance with proper procedures/'
I meant you Pips.
'and we will do our best to keep redundancies to a minimum-'
I really did.
'starting with dogs!'
I beg your pardon?
'Hear hear!'
What? Who said that?
'So over the next few weeks we will be meeting with you all individually/'
Someone said 'hear hear' Pips.
'to discuss how we see your future with the company'.
Who said 'hear hear'?
'This process will take a couple of weeks and then there will be a one month notice period for those we let go'.
Who said 'hear hear' at the idea of letting me go Pips?
'Have any of you got any questions?'
Yes WHICH ONE OF YOU TOSSERS SAID 'HEAR/'
'Not now George'.
'I see the sickbag is up in arms as usual. He's just realised he's not a member of a union!'
Pips get off/
'Too bad. No questions?'
YE/
'No George'.
'......... No? Well in that case I just want to make one brief personal announcement. On Valentine's Day I proposed to my girlfriend, Stephanie, and I'm engaged'.


'I can't believe he said that George. One moment he's announcing there are going to be redundancies and the next he's announcing his engagement'.
Well I can't believe what you did Pips. You have no right to shut my mouth and hold it shut. That is very naughty. Shame on you Pips, shame on you.
'What's wrong with the man?'
What's wrong with him Pips? What's wrong with you more like! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU! I am entitled to freedom of speech as much as anyone. Just because you all stand there and say nothing does not mean I have to. I'm going to tell Freddie what you did and he will be appalled he really will. And we may well decide to report you to the RSPCA. We may well Pips. And you can put me down now. I can get on the bus on my own.