Thirty Seven

I’m hot I’m hot I’m hot I’m hot I’m hot…..
‘You know what George? I am so hot. I never thought I’d say it but I’m actually thankful that I haven’t booked a summer holiday to the sun. I feel slightly sick at the thought’.
Pips? The water in my bowl is boiling.
‘An autumn break in Iceland is becoming more attractive by the day’.
Do you think you could change it, or put some ice in it?
‘I actually think I’m becoming delirious now. I’m so sweaty and sticky I can’t think straight. And when I do have a thought I can’t hold it long enough to do anything about it. I forget what I’m thinking and even if I don’t forget I just feel so apathetic about …… whatever it is. That’s what these temperatures do to me. How can anybody concentrate on anything in this sort of climate? How do they survive in places like the Middle East where they have to cope with this heat on a daily basis? I mean how do they actually get around to doing anything? And yet they do. In fact they somehow manage to mobilise themselves to fight a war. I don’t understand it George……… I can’t mobilise myself off the bed. Or maybe it’s the other way around and the heat just makes them irritable and short-tempered so that anything will provoke a rocket attack or two. I would be irritable but….. I can’t be bothered……. I haven’t got the energy so…… here I am ……. Well at least we don’t have to travel on the buses or tubes every day. We are very lucky we can walk to and from work. I think if I had to catch the tube I might pass out. Gosh I’m thirsty again already. George can you get me a drink?….. George? Where are you?………… Oh I was only kidding. Well, not completely. Everyone needs a servant or two in this sort of heat……. I just can’t stop drinking. I’ve drunk pints today. I must have drunk the eight pints we’re supposed to drink regularly on a daily basis. I should have the most wonderful skin when all this water kicks in….. OK Philippa get up and get yourself a drink. But I feel so weak and…. just do it . OK here we go. Get up….…. OK I’m up. Now water…………… Ah! That’s it, that’s better. Now, while I’m upright, I am going to have a shower. Sod the drought. They wouldn’t expect Tony Blair or The Queen to manage without probably several showers a day in this weather so neither is Philippa…………. George! What are you doing in here?’
I am absolutely exhausted Pips and possibly dehydrated after the walk home especially as I cannot drink the water in my bowl because it is too hot.
‘Do you want a shower too?’
Yes I do. I would like one very much.
‘OK here goes……... How is that?’
It is very refreshing Pips. It is terrific.
‘No don’t lie down George. You’re not showering all evening’.

‘Right, I think that’s enough now. Are you wet enough? Let me lift you out’.
No Pips no!
‘Come on George. I am hot. I need a shower too’.
Do I have to?
‘And I am not sharing a shower with you. Even the heat is not a good enough excuse for that sort of weirdness. Come on…. there we go. If you could just not shake yourse/ Oh. Too late’.
That’s better. I feel very much cooler now Pips. Thank you.
‘Thanks for the shower George….’