Four

'Was that a knock at the door George?'
It was Philippa, yes. Who is it likely to be at this time do you think?
Why are you holding your finger up to your mouth?
‘Let’s see................. Margaret. Hi’.
Margaret. I've heard all about you. I like your shoes with the Velcro fastenings by the way. Wait a minute. Who's your friend?
'Oh! Hello Joy. You too’.
'At least it's small Margaret'.
I beg your pardon. Are you talking about me? And I would prefer it if you didn’t look at me like that. Did you hear what she said Philippa? I don't think I’m going to like you Joy.
‘Philippa. Joy and I are rather disappointed that you have gone ahead with getting a dog despite the concerns I raised with you which I had hoped you had listened to’.
'I did listen Margaret but I felt you were being unfair'.
‘But Philippa it’s a matter of respect to the other people who live in this house’.
‘But as I told you, he will be out at work with me every day. I’m just taking a couple of weeks off work to settle him in but once I've done that we’ll be out all day so you won’t see him. You might pass us on the stairs occasionally but that’s it.’
‘That’s beside the point Philippa’.
‘No it isn’t. It really won’t affect you. You won’t notice he’s here’.
You will hardly notice I’m here Margaret.
‘For God’s sake! What would you say if a boyfriend moved in or I got pregnant and had a baby? Would you say a baby wasn’t allowed?’
‘Of course not. It doesn’t say that babies aren’t allowed in the lease’.
‘It doesn’t say that dogs aren’t allowed in the lease either’.
‘It does say the other people in the house are to give their consent to any animals - which we haven’t given because, as we told you, we are concerned about the noise and the smell’.
Smell? What smell?
‘But you’re hardly going to see him!’
Is she….? Is she referring to me Philippa? I don’t smell Margaret. How
dare you insult my personal hygiene!
'I don’t see the difference between a dog and a baby Margaret. In fact a baby would make twice the noise and be twice as smelly/’
But I don't smell. George has never been smelly. Not at all, because I have a METICULOUS ROUTINE/
‘Sssh it’s OK George, and on top of that you’d have to contend with baby paraphernalia and prams and pushchairs cluttering up the hall but that would be OK would it?’
‘But babies don’t bark’.
Oh keep your hair on Marge. I can see I’m going to have huge problems with you.
‘And dogs don’t scream their heads off for hours on end’.
‘I don’t have any objection to dogs ‘per se’ but I do think its right that everyone in the other flats should agree to him living with us’.
‘He’s not living with us, Joy, he’s living with me’.
WELL DONE PHILIPPA!
'Ssssh George'.
‘You see? Listen to it. This is what we mean’.
‘This matter will have to be discussed at the next Management Committee Meeting won’t it Margaret?
‘Yes Philippa. I am a little surprised at you I must say. I thought you would be more considerate’.
‘Well I thought you would be a little more reasonable because this is my flat and if I want a bloody dog, I think, all things considered, it’s up to me!’


I like you Philippa despite you calling me a bloody dog. I’M SO THRILLED TO BE WITH YOU PIPS I REALLY AM!
‘No George. Try not to bark too much, we don’t want to upset the neighbours more than we already have'.