Forty Two

‘Gosh is that Simon’s voice I can hear on the stairs? Quick! George where are you?’
Here Pips, in the drawer. Helping you out with your filing. By the way I am shredding some documents that we no longer/
‘Oh George what a mess! Well at least you’re not where you usually are – in Si/ Hi Simon! Welcome back’.
‘What’s happened to the cleaners?’
‘Nothing. Why?’
‘The stairs are filthy’.
‘Oh’.
‘Have you seen them?’
‘Yes but/’
‘They’re disgusting’.
‘Right’.
‘I could do a better job with my eyes closed. God I’m feeling jetlagged. I need a coffee’.
‘I’ll go and get you one. How was your holiday?’
‘If Lisa calls I’m in a meeting’.


‘Here’s your coffee’.
‘Thanks. So what have I missed while I’ve been gone? By the way who is the girl on reception?’
‘That’s Kelly. She’s covering for Nadine while she’s on holiday’.
‘I didn’t know Nadine was going on holiday. How long has she gone for?’
‘Just a week’.
‘Well Kelly didn’t have a clue who I am’.
‘Oh….’
That will be because you haven’t been here Simon.
‘It might be a good idea in future for the girl on reception to know who the Managing Directors of this company are. Who showed her the ropes? Oh God no don’t tell me. It was probably George’.
Yes it was me Simon and I did the best I could on what was a very busy day.
‘I only have to be away for two minutes and the whole place goes to the dogs’.
That’s not amusing Simon. I haven’t noticed anyone else around here doing a better job.
‘The little sickbag hasn’t been in my room I hope’.
‘No, of course not’.
Yes I have Simon. I was sitting in your chair just minutes ago and I peed on your wastepaper basket when Pips wasn’t looking as a little welcome back gesture.
‘Good’.
You’re welcome.
‘Where is he, the little bugger?’
‘He’s here in the drawer beside me’.
‘I want to see him. George? Come here’.
Simon, I can’t ‘come here’ while staying out of your room can I, actually, when you’re sitting in it, if you think about it. No wonder this place is going to the dogs, as you rudely put it, with directions from management like that.
‘George?’
Up yours Simon.
‘Where is he Philippa?’
‘He’s disappearing into the drawer. He doesn’t want to come out’.
‘Why not?’
Because you’re a grump Simon and filing is more fun than you are.
‘By the way Philippa, your phone rang while you were out next door getting the coffee. I didn’t pick it up in case it was Lisa. Oh! There it goes again’.
‘Good morning, Simon Lewis’s office? Lisa hi. Hi. How are you?…….. No Simon’s in a meeting actually at the moment……… With who? …… Well um with Mr…..Smith. I mean…er…... Can I take/ Hello?…..
.. Hello?……….. She hung up on me’.
Uh oh. It’s all gone shih tzu.
‘Fine. She can carry on hanging up as far as I’m concerned. George!’
It’s all gone shih tzu it’s all gone shih tzu/
‘Come and see uncle Simon’.
It’s all gone shih tzu.