Fifty Four

‘This way George’.
No Pips. I need to pass by the newly planted flowerbed in front of the church so that I can do the necessary on the rosebushes.
‘George no. It’s this way’.
No it’s not. The flowerbed is this way.
‘What’s got into you?’
I am a dog Pips. I have to do what dogs do. Do not make me have to explain myself.
‘Why are you being so difficult? You know that’s not the way to work’.
We can perfectly well go this way too. It’s only a short detour which is nothing when my standing in this neighbourhood is at stake.
‘No George. Stop mucking about or we’ll be late’.
I am not mucking about Pips. I do not want the other dogs in this area thinking that I am slacking. This is my street and those rosebushes are on my territory.
‘Oh for God’s sake. All right. I would pick you up and put a stop to this nonsense but you’re already wet and filthy and I don’t want my coat ruined. I’m not happy George’.
Neither am I Pips. Sometimes you are very selfish. Only thinking about yourself and your job when you should be thinking about my honour. If the golden retriever or that springer spaniel have got there before me this morning I am going to be very cross.
‘Oh no. I know why you want to come this way. Damn it George, not again! Those new rosebushes have had enough of you. How many times do you have to pee on them?’
That is a shocking question Pips and one which I should not have to answer. Sometimes I cannot believe you are my owner.
‘I am telling you right now that we are not going to re-route our journey into work every morning this Spring to take in each and every Square and municipal garden between here and Bloomsbury just so that you can leave your mark on the new planting. It will make us late for work’.
Well I am sorry Pips but the walk to work is not all about you. I do not care if we arrive at work a bit late because if it wasn’t for me nothing would be achieved in that office anyway so you should all be grateful for my input at whatever time it arrives. Simon comes in whenever he pleases so he should not complain if others do too. Here we are Pips here we are!
‘I knew it. You are so predictable George, you know that? I should have guessed immediately what coming this way was all about’.
Sssssh Pips. I am concentrating.
‘You’re going to arrive into work all muddy now. I give up on you I really do’.
Freddie has already been here this morning. You see Pips? This is what happens It is a matter of constantly re-visiting and being vigilant and…… yes, that golden retriever has been here too. Right. Well take this…….. .. There. And this….
‘All right George. You’ve done it. Now let’s get going’.
No Pips no. I need to do this rosebush too……… and that one… and this one…… and that one…… and this one……… and that/
‘OK George that’s enough’.
DO NOT PULL ME WHEN I AM DOING MY BUSINESS ON THREE LEGS PIPS. I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE!
‘Sssssh. Stop that fuss’.
I am not leaving until all the rosebushes are taken care of.
‘Come on. Quickly’.
I have one more rosebush to/
‘No George’.
Can you give me a bit more lead so I can/
‘George leave it. There’s no need to do every bush’.
I can’t reach it Pips.
‘For goodness sake come ON!’
Just one second and I will….. OK here then…. whoops.
‘Right now. Off we go’.
THERE’S NO NEED TO YANK ME PIPS! DO NOT YANK ME!
‘What excuse am I going to give Simon for arriving late at work at the beginning of the New Year?’
I missed that last one. I will have to come back this evening and do it again properly.