Hundred and Twenty Two

'George come out from behind the hollyhocks. Let's go. I want us to get a decent walk in and we have to get to Sainsbury's before it closes'.
Pips? Can we go to the new pet store on the Essex Road? The one that you were rude about because you don't like spending any money on me? I have decided that I would like you to buy me a new bowl because ever since you tried to feed me that cheap rubbish I feel sick every time I look at mine. My stomach starts churning it really does. Freddie was telling me Terry has bought him a new bowl with his name on in glitter which he isn't too keen on but I think it would suit me very well.
'George remind me I need to buy some more washing-up liquid. Where's my list?'
Or Pips? Perhaps you could buy me an extendable lead so that when you are walking too slowly, which is most of the time, I can simply walk on ahead and make some new friends.
'I made a list George. Where is it?'
Or Pips? Pips! Could you buy me a collar with a bell on? I would like that very much. All the girls will know that George is coming down the street and/
'Oh shit!'
What's..? Oh.
'Ugh! It's all over my shoe'.
It's not mine Pips.
'Oh God, what am I...?'
Over here Pips. You can wipe it off on the grass.
'Yuk!'
Over here. That's it. Onto the grass...
'You're such disgusting animals George, you know that?'
It is not our fault if our owners don't pick up after us Pips actually.
'What a mess'.
After all you always manage to pick up after me, even when you're in a hurry/
'It makes city living so squalid'.
or late for work. You always do.
'Thank God I'm not wearing my flipflops'.
Even when I would prefer that you didn't depending on how my stomach has been behaving the night before.
'Well now the grass is covered in shit instead so that's great'.
You always pick up after me, yes you do. And it's terrific when I think about it.
'Why don't dogs ever step in dog shit George?'
Because we look where we're going.
'Then you might realise how revolting it is'.
Oh so now it's our fault for not stepping in our own shit. Well that's nice Pips I must say. Some dogs might say you should have been looking where you were going but not me Pips. Not me. Because I know you were looking for your list although that wasn't strictly necessary when you have me to remind you what you need to buy. What did you need to buy again?