Hundred and Sixteen

'Philippa can I have a word with you in my office?'
'Oh! Yes Simon, of course'.
Well I'm in the middle of filing at the moment Pips so it's not a convenient time. Ask him what it's abou/
'It'll only take a second'.
'OK. Let me just finish...'.
Oh all right, all right. I suppose I can spare one second although he has no idea how long filing takes. He has no idea.
'So you can leave the sickbag outside'.
'Right'.
Actually I've changed my mind Pips. I can spare as long as it takes.
'No George you're stay/ oh my God what have you been doing? Why do you have to tear everything up? Shit...'
'When you're ready Philippa. And close the door behind you'.
'Yes. Coming! No George you're staying here'.
But I don't feel like staying outside.
'No George'.
But what concerns you also concerns me.
'No George. You stay here'.
But I want to hear what the tosser has to sa/
'Are you coming Philippa? I was rather hoping to have this meeting in 2010'.
'Yes yes I'm just...'
I'm coming too Si/
'No George. NO!'


'OK George this is serious. We need to economise and cut back on our weekly expenditure. Any suggestions?'
We could catch the bus less often Pips.
'What changes can we make to save some money?'
Well, like I said, we could walk to work more.
'What do I waste money on/'
Buses, Pips.
'that we could do without?'
The number 38 bus.
'Something unnecessary'.
THE NUMBER 38 BUS PIPS! THE NUMBER 38 BUS! WHY DON'T YOU LISTEN?
'I suppose I could get up earlier/'
Yes Pips and walk to work more. And we can leave work early and walk home too!
'and make myself a packed lunch instead of buying sandwiches from Pret every day'.
Yes you could do that also but/
'And actually I could buy cheaper food for you'.
Well no wait a minute/
'I know you like your expensive brands but now I'm on a pay-freeze I can't afford it'.
But Pips/
'I know you're fussy/'
Yes I am because I have a sensitive stomach/
'but we're in a situation where we both have to compromise and make little sacrifices/
Sacrifices? Who said anything about sacrifices?
'and you'll get used to it'.
Used to it my arse! I can tell you right now that I may get used to it Pips but my stomach won't. And it will be a false economy by the time you've had to buy a new carpet because I can't help it if cheap rubbish goes straight through me without holding on but if you want a demonstration then so be it. Just don't blame me. JUST DON'T BLAME ME!