Hundred and Ten

'It would be nice if I didn't have to pick you up or drag you onto the bus every time George'.
Well Pips I don't think I should have to remind you that you still haven't bought me a new travelling box for Paris.
'Gosh it's good to be going home. I'm glad today's over. I hate it when Simon's in a bad mood. It's not our fault business is bad. He should be blaming the government. They got us into this crisis'.
He is Pips. He told me he's going to vote for David Cameron.
'I suppose the election is our chance to boot them out but I mean who do you vote for? Who do you think I should vote for George?'
They're all tossers Pips except for Miriam. Miriam is a very lovely girl who reminds me of Conchita, my very own lovely Spanish girl who I met in Parc Guell.
'I'm not voting for Labour because they got us into this mess although they're pretending it's nothing to do with them, and I'm not voting for the Tories because Simon probably votes for them/'
He is Pips, he told me.
'and besides, tax breaks for married couples is a bit insulting to the rest of us. It's like they're saying we're not behaving properly or something'.
Yes but as we can see from what Freddie is going through, marriage is not the answer to everything because then they divorce.
'I've just thought of something George. That means that if the Tories get in, Simon will get a tax bonus when he marries Stephanie'.
Yes he will.
'God that makes me so furious. Simon doesn't need any extra money. He earns a fortune as it is without getting an additional bonus for being married!'
I've got an idea! I've got an idea Pips! How about a tax break for single people? For not inflicting misery on others?
'Maybe I'll vote for the Lib Dems'.
Yes vote for Miriam Pips. Vote for the lovely Miriam!
'Quite frankly George I've lost faith'.
Miriam Miriam Miriam Miri/
'You'd probably do a better job than all of them put together'.
Well as a matter of fact I came up with a vote-winning idea the other day. You will no doubt wonder how I stumbled upon it so I will tell/
'What would you do if you were Prime Minister George?'
OK well I will tell you... I would give a free ball to every dog in the country. Isn't that terri/
'Would someone mind moving so that I can sit next to my cat'.
CAT! Is there a cat on this bus Pips?
'Oh look George! That man has a ginger cat on a lead'.
What is a cat doing on the bus? Cats aren't allowed on buses!
'That's nice. That lady in the green coat is moving across the aisle so he can sit with his cat'.
Nice? But it shouldn't be allowed Pips. Since when were cats allowed on buses?
'It's rather a lovely cat George'.
I don't care whether it is lovely or not Pips. SINCE WHEN WERE CATS ALLOWED ON BUSES?
'George ssssh!. Don't start'.
That is it Pips. I've had enough I REALLY HAVE! This Government has been asleep on the job for too long if you ask me and this country has gone too far. This is the sort of thing that makes you wonder what's going to happen next and I'm not having it, I'M NOT HAVING IT!